I hope you had a wonderful weekend. This weekend in Germany was another holiday. I had someone explain it to me as the ascension into heaven, so we were able to get Monday off. This weekend was Karnival of Kulture. This is an event that shows the multi cultural side of Berlin. For those who think Berlin is not a multi cultural city (personally I feel the same), this event may change your mind.

The event last four days and it is in Kreuzeberg, one can exit Hallesches Tor or Merhingdam exit from the ubahn. The first two days are primarily music, and food, while on Sunday there is a parade of the different cultures in Germany, and on Monday, there is some great jazz and music booths. These are the days that I went.

Sunday, I went about 4pm with the German. We did not see the parade. He does not care for it, I like to go personally to see how many different types of people actually live here. We live in a neighborhood, where I see white Germans only, so it is nice to see who else lives here. We brought some Jamaican food, and found a seat. Of course it was in the German beer booth, so again, I am the only one. He does not seem to see how uncomfortable for me to never see another person that looks like me, but this is another post that I think I will never write about. We got some drinks, and relaxed until his friend came, and we separated so I could explore. I love to explore alone, so I can make my own fun. Shame we do not have anything in common anymore.

Anyways, I headed down a couple more stops on the train and went to a bar where I ran into some music friends and we drank and chatted for a few hours.

For Monday, I had a lot to do. I had a job interview in the morning. I am desperately trying to stay in Berlin, but it is hard if you do not have a job. My only requirement at this point is to have normal hours, and it is not sales. I know I am an immigrant, but I feel that does not mean I cannot at least get this out of this country until I figure out if I want to go home to America. I feel this may be coming up soon. My bassist friend from the jazz session invited me to see him play. I called my friend from DC, who is an Ethiopian woman who grew up in Russia who is quite beautiful, and very intelligent. I said she should come down I the daytime to see the whole thing. We met up, got some african food, and walked around until we could see the show. It was quite nice to relax. I ran into all my new music friends, and hung out with the bassist after the show. We live really close to each other, so I knew it would be a good idea to stick together so I could have someone get me home. It is always interesting hanging with him. He thinks I am a men magnet, and every time we are walking or talking, people just stare. Germans have absolutely no shame when it comes to staring. I have to see if there is even a word for it. That was my weekend. I do not think there are more holidays coming up soon, but I have to lay low until I find another job in Berlin.

Here are some pictures from the festival:

The jamaican food .. so much

This guy was awful

Saturdays band for jazz

A couple hours into it.. a little tipsy

He just told me to go home.. the look on his face is priceless

Daryl on the bass..

Rico McClarrin

http://www.reverbnation.com/losmightycalacas

About a year into living in Berlin, I decided to venture out to see some blues. I went to a club where I quickly became acquainted with a talented singer-drummer named Rico McClarrin. He is an older gentleman from Florida who quite frankly, was trying to pick me up that night. This was fine, it was nice to run into another Black American abroad; especially one doing what he loved. He said to me, if I liked this, then I should come down to their jazz session on tuesdays. Finally, something I thought I could get down with.

This is him below:

I did not know what to expect. It was conveniently located off of the Gorlitzer Bahnhof right in the middle of the park. I get off work at 10pm, which is the perfect time to arrive early to find a seat. Believe me, seats go fast, and the people start sitting anywhere they can. The session is located upstairs in Edelweiss. It is a small area with a small stage. Normally, there is just enough room for a piano, upright bass, drum set, bongos, and perhaps one singer. They allow you to smoke inside, so if you do not mind cigarette smoke, and maybe some other smoking going on, you should fit right in.

The admission is only 3 euros, for a night of great jazz favorites, as well as their takes on popular songs, and a little session where new singers are allowed to come and perform as well. Sometimes, you hear some great artists such as this man Wynton Stevenson, who is a bad man on the harmonica:

I encourage you to go. It is every tuesday at the same spot for now. I really think it is a great place to relax and listen to great jazz surrounded by a younger crowd. To me, this was most important. I hate noticing I am the only one at a jazz club who does not have gray hair. LOL

Berlin Jazz Jam Session
Every Tuesday- 10pm ish to when they finish
Edelweiss Bar- Gorlitzer Park

Here are some of their videos

I have been deep in thought lately.. same three things basically: Should I stay in Berlin? Should I return to the States? What the heck is this blog about?

This blog started as a way to basically pass the time in transition to living in Germany. However, I feel it should be more general. No one wants to hear my complain all the time about Germany. I want to make it a positive place where Black women who speak English from around the world can come and get advice, and share experiences on their lives in Germany. I really do not know how to do that thought. I am good at doing my job, which is marketing and sales, but I am really floundering when it comes to finding a theme for this blog. If anyone has ideas.. I am more than welcomed to hear it.
I have trolls who like to constantly remind me of my past all the time, so I would rather not share so much personal information about myself anymore. Just where I go to have fun, eat, hang out, and travel to in Germany. So if you have any suggestions again, please comment. I really appreciate it.

Best Regards,

Kimberly (Black Girl in Berlin)

I just got back from Stockholm Sweden for the weekend. My goodness that place is cold. About 10 degrees colder in Berlin. It was an amazing trip for me. I really needed to get away. Going through lots of changes here in Berlin. Job situation may bring me to Hamburg for a while, and I have to make some big decisions regarding my relationship with the German, so it was just nice to not think for a few days and relax.

I decided to make the trip up there at first to visit a friend, DJ Red Astaire Freddie Crugar. He is based in Stockholm, but has created some of my favorite songs…the best being Follow Me, a remix of DAngelos Left and Right from the Voodoo Album.

He seemed really nice through correspondence, so I figured, if I went I would not be alone in the city. I had not done any research about Stockholm. I just purchased a ticket, and went. Normally, I try to look up some things, but this time I felt I should just wing it (English saying). I took Ryan Air. I had heard such bad things about the airline, but the ticket was about 99 euros or 130 dollars roughly, so you cannot beat that. I flew into the smaller airport about an hour north of Stockholm and took the bus. This was really easy as pie. I exchanged my euros for Swedish Crowns and went on my way. I did not know Sweden had not bought into the Eurozone.. I am sure they are NOT regretting that with the current state of affairs involving the Euro.

I got down to Stockholm, and was greeted by my new friend for the weekend. I settled in and got some Indian food. Well it was Indian with a Bangledesh flare. I love Indian food, so it was perfect for me. We tried to get some drinks out, but the night clubs in Stockholm were pretty bad in terms of good music. Hard to be out with a DJ and a girl like me who is really into soul music and sit and listen to Electro. It was painful, but we found joy in talking about how bad the music was.

Next day was my favorite holiday; 420. This is a weed appreciation day basically. I met up again with Red and another Swedish person my friend from Berlin recommended I link up with, and we went to Record Mania. This place was a small record store with a fantastic selection of rare funk, soul, hip hop and jazz records. These dudes knew what the fuck good music was. I was really impressed. We stayed there for a few hours, drinking some beers, meeting the guys that worked there and chilling out. Afterwards, we headed down to a place whose name I cannot remember. I just know they had the best schnitzel I have ever tasted, and I live in Germany. The chicken was so juicy and the potatoes were so flavorful. I was surprised. All the guys were really nice and friendly. Everyone had their own flow.

Afer getting a hearty meal, we began our 420 celebration. I could not handle Stockholms greenery. I fell asleep listening to this funk record Schoolhouse Funk . These kids were in high school making this music. Awesome. Needless to say that was pretty much the end of my night. I could not move much, however this is fun for me. Next day, I was off to the airport and back to Berlin by 5pm. I had a great time, and met so many wonderful people.

I have to get up there again.. only in Spring and Summer of course, that place is cold!!

Here are some pictures

I will not say on a daily basis that I experience overt racism here in Germany. I overall have enjoyed my experience, outside of working, and my relationship. I have met some great Germans, Danish, Swedish, Dutch, English, Romanians, Greeks, Serbians, Slovenians, Italians, Portuguese, Spanish, and even Russians that have been open and great. It usually is in my work environment where there is a large community of expats. I love getting to meet new people, and coming together.

However, even though I am not spit on everyday, stared at, or harassed, there is still a feeling of Other here in Germany. Sitting down at a bar alone, a woman begans to ask the most intrusive questions. Where am I from? Why am I here, and I on vacation? I am just sitting there. Why must you ask me these questions. She says, oh, I am sorry, I do not mean to be intrusive. She then assumes, it must be hard for you here, but I am sure even though you do not make so much money, it is more than your home country. I chuckle to myself… sure, if YOU think that. I did not mention to here that I was American. I have already went into detail about these types of stories.

Another instance is when I use my credit card. I have a German credit card. It is signed on the back. Most times, people accept this. When a German wants to fuck with me, they ask me for my passport immediately. I have a very English name, I guess to them this Black woman should not own this card. I asked him IN GERMAN, why is he asking for my passport, when the card is signed, and is mine. I can understand asking for my ID, but my PASSPORT? I thought that was odd.

What Germans fail to understand is that it isnt just the overt forms of racism that is the problem. The problem is that people automatically assume, because of the color of my skin.. something I CANNOT control, that I need to be mistreated. Because of my skin color, many stereotypes have been formed. Most of them include that I am poor, I am oversexed, probably a prostitute, here for a visa, uneducated, that I smell, and the list of stereotypes goes on. Now, I am not out to change the world, but why should my skin color give anyone the right to mistreat me. That is all I want to know. I do not care how much the Europeans have contributed to civilization, or their feelings of superiority. I just want to know why as a brown person, do I need to be treated as less than? Why am I the exotic one when the world population of Europeans is about 10% and on the decline?

I try to talk to my German boyfriend about this, but he says, oh Kim, its only the stupid people here that are like that. Oh those people are old, oh those people are rare. YOU need to be strong, be just as rude as they are. I try to explain, it isnt just the small minority of people acting this way in small towns, or older people. It is a thing that occurs quite often, and just because they are beating me up, spitting on me, trying to rape me, trying to offer me money for sex, does not mean that the other forms of this crap isnt happening.

I see more of this now though, I am beginning to watch German TV. I rarely see a full black person on there that is not acting a fool, or singing. If I do, it is a documentary on Africa with people in bushes being helped by Germans, fat white female German women going to look for dates in 3rd world countries, or an American show with its token Black character. Well, I did see a Denzel movie. That was just fine.

I just feel like this change needs to start with society. We (non whites) can never convince people who think they are better than us because of our skin color, but at least have some better representations of the true population of Germany. Not to say this is not an issue in the States. Believe me it is. But, I just wish if they could see people of all colors represented daily and not presented as exotic, or other, maybe things can start to change.

Again, this is from an outsider looking in.

xoxo

Black Girl in Berlin

Today is March 5th.

I have the flu, or what I think is the flu. It has been an interesting couple of months. I was out of work from November to February. Things were tight. I do not remember having to deal with so much financial pressure. Student loans are a son of a bitch. My main fall back, since I was 19 years old was, just go make a quick scene. I did not have that option here, or so I thought. Someone from Magna films approached me and offered me quite a large sum for a few hours of work. I thought: Do I really want to do this again? I ran across the world to get away from this, or was it the relationship I was running to?

I retired from making adult films for many reasons. The money stopped being from movies, and more from escorting. Escorting can be tough, and easy sometimes, but basically it is prostitution. I always hated having to cater to some mans desires while keeping mine silent. It is hard. Most of my clients were all the same: middle aged white married men. I had to deal with their schedules, and their wants. Sometimes, it is still hard to know what I want at times, I spent years catering to others needs. I hated feeling like that. I can brag that I have an MBA, and a degree in Economics, but at the end of the day they were paying me for sex, therefore I was less than human it seemed to them. Most, I am sure did not believe a bit about the education part. I did not care, the degrees are packed neatly away. I earned them, no one can take that away.

It was hard adjusting to regular life. Getting paid once a month, and far less money. Making what I make in a month, knowing I could make that easily in one day, sometimes, a few hours. So, I slipped. I shot the scene. I wanted the money, I wanted to relax for the 3 months, not worry about this or that. It was easy. I feel like shooting porn for me was an addiction, and sometimes people relaspe. That does not mean Ms. Panther is back. Im not cut out for a long term career in porn. I sure do miss the sex, the fun people, running my business. I do not miss being called a whore, being slut shamed, men treating me like crap because they could and I let them.

I am back to work now. Not doing what I love, because of course I am not fluent in German, but it is a job that allows me to maintain my visa, and give me some spending change. I am still figuring out what to do with my life.. career wise. I acquired all these degrees, but little experience. This is what holds me back as well. We are all human, we make mistakes. All have fallen short, and all that jazz. I just wanted to put it out there. Especially since people will try to tell all your business. She is doing porn again.. that whore. Well, hey, most of the craziest things I have experienced were from so-called normal people.

So, even if folks judge me for that, I really just do not care. This is something I discussed with the German. Everything is fine at home. He knows where my heart is and where I want to go in my life. Just a little insight into what has been going on in my mind folks.

xoxo

Black Girl in Berlin

You will find more statistics at Statista

I just wanted to include this neat little graph I found about intermarriage in the USA. While on average we simply do not date other men, more and more are finding love in many different places. Personally, I have a preference, which has little to do with what someone looks like.

One thing I have been hearing from many different women is.. Go to Europe.. I hear they love us out there. I just wanted to address this. Please, do not be duped into this. Not every European is checking for the sistahs. Now, I will say, I am quite popular here. I am quite popular in a lot of places to be honest.. (big Leo ego LOL). Europe is a big a diverse place. The Northern Europeans are more keen to be interested in Black women. There are hardly really any here. Countries like Denmark, the Netherlands, Germany, and Sweden are places were it is hard to not get hit on a daily basis, but please do not think moving here is the answer to all of your problems. Sometimes the reason you are single is your issue, not the men. Not all European men are good men. Remember an asshole comes in many colors. Dating someone just because of their color is a terrible way to start a relationship. Finding someone you truly match with is the key. Maybe you simply are not ready. Many women I knew back in the states were looking for a laundry list of qualities, while they had nothing to offer but looks.

There is a lot of issues that arose with moving to another country for a relationship. It is not easy. We are culturally very different. He does not see marriage as a priority before having children, Germans do not seem to care much about making a lot of money, and a laundry list of other things. Not only that, I have to deal with other Germans LOL. He may be open minded and caring, but this is not the case for when I am going about my to day. I am learning another language, trying to work, dealing with the stares, and trying to manage a relationship. It is hard. So I just ask, please really do not overlook flaws before making the leap. When you move, remember you will be alone here, and at times have to depend solely on this individual.. No matter what color.. look before you leap.

Black Girl in Berlin

It has been a while since I have posted. I just found a new job that I started in February, and have been busy trying to learn this. Another sales job, I will write a post about how great that is soon. In the meantime, I finally got to try what some are saying is the best burger in Berlin. I usually think that most of these people have no idea what the hell they are talking about. I needed an American to recommend this to me.

I had a long weekend, so the German and I decided to try the place. It is located in Prenzlauer Berg. This area is for the posh hipster. Expensive rents, and lots of bars for those who can afford to party there. The Bird is the name of the place. It was started by two Americans from New York. They use grass fed beef that is mostly imported from America. I was excited. When I got there, I decided to try a steak. The German got a burger. He ordered some bacon burger, and he absolutely loved it. I ordered a flank steak. This steak was one of the better ones in Berlin. Our bill came to about 76 euros. This is VERY expensive for Berlin. I was really surprised, but thankfully we came prepared. I would have to say it is a good burger. The place is always packed, so make sure to make a reservation.. 4 days in advance.

My burger places list, just in case you find yourself in Berlin:

1. The Bird- Prenzlauer Berg. They speak english, they are friendly, and the music is great. It can be expensive, so I would suggest sticking to burgers.

2. Rosenburger- This place is in the heart of Rosenthaler platz in Mitte. Its cool for a quick bite after drinking too much. I thought it tasted similar to In and Out burger. I would say for quick, cheap and GOOD, this is the place.

3. Kreuzeburger- This place is ok, everyone said it was a great place, but I really do not see the appeal.

4. Sunshine Burger- If you want a good veggie burger that I swear does not taste like one, this is the place. I really did not know it was a veggie place until someone explained what vegetarisch means in English.. LOL.

If you know a better burger place, just let me know. I will add it to the list

Black Girl in Berlin

I hope everyone is enjoying the new year. I have been back in Berlin for a few weeks now adjusting to the change. Although I was only gone for almost three weeks, it still is a bit hard to adjust to the time and the weather. I had an overall good time on my travels back to the States. I spent time with friends, and family, and was able to recapture some of things I was missing, as well as realizing again the reason why I left.

I started in New York for a day with my friend. It really was just a pit stop because the way my flights were scheduled, niether of us had a lot of time. I did not get to do anything there as far as tourist trips, it was just nice to relax after the 8 hour flight from Amsterdam to New York.

The next morning I flew to LAX. I rented a car, and found my hotel. My phone does not work in the States. I should of brought an American SIM card. I am lost without my phone, but I was surprised how much I remembered. After about an hour, I found my hotel. I got a room right on the boardwalk in Venice. I have always wanted to do this, but this was not the best time. It was quite rainy, and I do not remember Venice having so many bums. I did not spend much time relaxing, and immediately had plans for my first night back in Los Angeles in a year. I called what I would consider to be my closest friend Sam, and we had some drinks and ceviche at a cute place on the boardwalk. I really should of been sleeping. Immediately following, I went out to this wonderful Italian spot with a long time friend of mine. It was nice to see him. I thought, so far so good. The next day I felt awful. I was so sick. For four days I could not do much but wait for the cold to end. I finally got better just in time to be able to drive down to San Diego to see my friend Mike. We have been friends for 8 years, and it is always a good time with him. I was so out of it, that I could barely talk most of the evening. I was running on empty. I did managed to meet some more of my friends throughout the trip. Here are some pictures from the trip.

After seeing my friends, I went back home to Riverside to see my parents. I stayed with my Father. It is just easier that way. He has more space, but he is really restrictive. Even at 27 years old, he treats me like I am not a day over 10. I think that is just how parents are I guess. It was nice to catch up with him, and see how big my younger sisters have gotten. I saw my Mother for only one day. We have always been really different people, and the less time seems to be the only way I can get her to treat me like a person. She at least knows this is temporary, so she needs to act like she has some sense. To my surprise, my Mother expressed interest in going natural, and visitng Italy. I guess I am rubbing off on her. I made it a point to mention, not all European men were created equal. As asshole comes in all colors.

Before I knew it, I was back to the airport for another round of New York. This time for 3 days. I was able to catch up with my travel writer friend, and see one my best boys in Harlem. We always have a great time together talking politics. We have similar views, although I find myself going further down the liberal path than anything. It is Berlin’s effect on me I think. I was happy to get out of California. Many of my friends are very shallow and selfish. I can only stand this for a few days before I need to make my exit. New York just seems to have a better vibe. I was sad to leave that place, but I did, and got back to Berlin just in time for the Weihnachten (Christmas in German). So after a few weeks of sitting on my behind or going to holiday parties, I decided to start writing again. Happy New Year folks.. and you will be hearing much more from this year.

Black Girl in Berlin