I have been a bit quiet lately. I have had a lot going on. Earlier this year, I received a warning deportation letter.. which seemed like an empty threat once I proved I could be here. Then, I finally got the job of my dreams in Marketing, and I just simply never received a visa. I know this sounds weird, but I went down to the office for weeks, which turned into months, and each time they told me to give them my email and to wait because they needed to see if a German wanted the job first. I signed the contract, and I know my rights but after fighting for years to find a job that I really liked, in English, I was devastated and decided to give up the fight.
Berlin was just starting to get better for me. I moved to the neighborhood I wanted, I figured out now how to get the apartment I wanted. I had carved out friendships. I was relying on my ex less and less. Romantically this city has sucked balls, but I was happy with other things. I had access to cheap organic foods, I could walk to most things that I needed, and I finally got on track in terms of having a career.
When it became clear that I would not be getting that job, due to god know’s why, I decided to throw in the towel. I signed the contract, and I know my rights, as mentioned before, but I just stopped wanting to fight. I came here for love, I met a whole bunch of interesting people, and done a bunch of things. Maybe it’s time to move back. This had always been in my head, however, at that point it just seemed like the right thing to do in my life.
Besides, I had met an American in Berlin, and while he is in the EU often, with my recent “luck,” we decided being near each other and me starting over in my home country might be the best idea.
I am not excited about moving back to America. I am from Southern California, where yes, the weather is nice, but the cost of living is expensive. Not to mention, I would need a car, and a job. Most importantly, that. I mentioned in my Broke Person Expat Tips
post that I do not exactly have parents with money coming out of their pockets for the older kids (which includes me) to stay in Europe. My parents think I am crazy for staying this long and being single.
So with my apartment lease ending, there goes my last ability to stay here. I am sorry. Staying in a shared apartment with a stranger just to stay here and try to wait for a visa, seems asinine, even as an American major city has the National Guard in the streets.
It is time to close the chapter on all of this. I am doing my best to see everyone that I have gotten to meet before I left, and attend as many events as I can afford to. Leaving in the middle of the Summer will not be easy, but I am excited to see what is beyond this experience.