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black women in germany

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Late Night Jazz

Broadway music

Hey Folks,

It is the weekend for me, and I finally have a Saturday off. My work schedule is really random, but I am adjusting to working the weekends again. I made plans today to meet a male for a drink. I had been casually seeing people who I find could be potential dating partners. My focus is still on “plan B,” but I admit I can get rather lonely sitting in that apartment with my ex boyfriend who avoids me like I am a deadly virus. The weather is warming up, and it seems that Winter could be over early. I am nervous about meeting this person who has been emailing for the last two weeks. He seems rather demanding, but non Native English speakers tend to sound more aggressive to me. We plan to meet around 630pm to have a drink at a bar that I love in Mitte. The decor is dark and posh. Velvet curtains, intricate wall papers, and beautiful furniture. This place is a bit pricey than the average Berlin bar, and I appreciate their relaxed smoking policy. To me, a short drink is the best first date. It is simple, and inexpensive. I always make sure to take enough money to drink for myself, just in case I am with a man who is cheap or low on cash.

I dressed casually, black leggings and white t shirt. Light makeup with red lips to match my red shoes and scarf. I really think red is my color right now. I like to feel comfortable when I go out, and this outfit was the right match. I never know what to wear in Berlin to be honest. I am either dressed up, or dressed down. I decided to stop caring so much about fitting in, I realize it is rather impossible. I get on the train a bit early to make sure I arrive on time. Time and punctuality have increasingly become important to me while living in Germany. On my way I get a text message, “What are you doing tonight, I have a day off.” Low and behold, the bassist wants to hang out. This is a man who I had known for a while and is my neighbor. Not next door, but close. He is a Black male from Texas who has been here for 20 years. He is tall, and handsome, and very talented. He has a lot of knowledge concerning Black history and is a very goofy guy behind closed doors. We had a falling out last year, well at least I did, and we have just begun to start talking again. I realize that there are not going to be any other Black men like him in this city like him. I do not want to push out one of the few kindred spirits I have happened to meet.

His sudden text message threw me for a loop. I was off to have a drink, but all I kept thinking was how can I cut this short to hang out with the bassist later? I arrive early to the bar and wait for this guy to arrive so I can get this “date” over with. I had met him, before, he is a mixed (Ghanaian and White German) guy born and raised in Berlin. He is very German, accent and all, but we had some things in common. He was dressed casually as everyone does in Berlin. T shirt, jeans, coat, nothing fancy. He has a slim build, and about 5’9. He had a simple job at a hotel, and lived in the South of the city. The conversation was dry at first, but we eventually found some things to keep the vibe going. I drank a vodka straight up while he sipped on his juice and talked about life in Berlin versus life in America. The typical conversation I have here that I have to admit I am tired of talking about. I could not wait for 930pm to come. Not because the guy was so terrible, just that I wanted to see the bassist again. I wrap things up, hail a cab, and make my way home to charge my phone to make sure I do not miss the call the bassist promised to make.

Like clockwork, he calls at 10pm and we catch up. I wanted to keep it light. I was quite angry with him for not speaking to me during a time I felt I really needed someone, but I just wanted to be civil. I wanted to stay positive. He informs me of a late night jam session at the iconic A trane bar and night club. I was not sure if I should accompany him to this. People always thought we were dating whenever we are out together, that was not entirely untrue, but I wished not to be romantically linked to him any longer. I decided to agree. Who would be out in the far West of Berlin from my group of friends? Everyone is either with their bootycall for the evening, or at some club trying to recruit a new one.

Even though I had to work the next day, I agreed to attend the session, which was set to start at 2am. He is a musician, so he is a night owl. I had to take a nap before going. I woke up about 1245am to redress and walk to his place to take a cab to the place. I was nervous to see him again, I was not sure how I would react. Men have a way of being so cavalier about things. I walked into his apartment, which to my surprise had been updated and organized. He showed me the improvements while I sparked one and waited for him to finish dressing. I could not help but stare. I have a thing for a man who can dress. He always wears something black and gold. I am sure there is some significance behind this. I also appreciate a man who wear a nice cologne, and his is one that is hard to forget. I tried to keep my head out of the gutter, and be nice.

We finally make it to the A trane. The place was packed with people who I luckily did not know. We found a seat, and watched the show. Watching live music with a musician is interesting. He is always serving his commentary about things. I had a glass of red wine and my head was spinning. All I kept thinking was: “What is that cologne he is wearing?” The set was nice. There were a group of European guys playing some good tunes. There was a young man playing in the style of Myles Davis, he was pretty good. Everyone knows the bassist so they come over to say hello while looking me up and down, I guess, wondering where did he find me? The Black male musicians are always asking, so are you from here? I find this to be hilarious, especially when I am speaking to them with the exact same fucking accent that they are. I guess single black American women who are good looking AND out with a Black male are rare sight.

I had a good night overall, but I kept thinking, I moved my whole plans around just for a few hours with a man that I highly doubt is a true friend in my eyes. Do I really have to do so much just to find a connection in Europe? I got home, emailed my father and said… “Dad, I think I am ready to come home.”

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Burgers and Hip Hop Part 2

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Hey Folks,

I hope you are having a great week out there or day. This past weekend, I went to an event called Burgers and Hip-Hop. This was the second installment of this event, and I was excited to go. The first time, there weren’t too many people, this time it was completely different. This place was PACKED! The location stayed the same (Prince Charles Club in Berlin) and there were many of the same stands there with some new additions. I actually did not get a burger. Thankfully, a girl shared one of hers with me. There is no way I am standing in the lines I witnessed.

I showed up alone to meet up with my girl and my boy from the UK. My girlfriend was running late, but as soon as I walked in the door I ran into my friend from Zimbabwe, she is a pretty young lady who likes to party. I was relieved to run into her so that I would not be alone. The place was madness. You had to push yourself through the crowd at all times. Thankfully, she had a seat and I drank my vodka and chatted a bit. I realized there was no way I was going to get a burger, and I should of shown up earlier. The last time, we went about 7 pm, and we had no issues, however, there were mostly kids and families. We felt if we arrived later, we could catch more of the party before becoming inebriated, or broke. We should of stuck to the 7pm time. My friend was unable to get in by time she arrived.

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The music was really lame for lack of better word. I was expecting to hear, you know, hip hop. As far as I know Beyonce, Kelis, or Rhianna are not hip-hop. I was highly disappointed. I mean I can listen to Drake or even 2 Chainz for rap or hip hop, but the rest was just plain trash, and I wanted my euro back from the DJ. I found my boy from the UK, and we chatted it up a bit about how lame the music was, and how it was definitely not the hip hop we were expecting. He has great taste in music himself, so I was happy that someone shared my opinion. They should really call it, Hipster wannabe’s listening to rap and top 40 music and eating good food. Just be honest, it was not about the hip hop. After catching with him, letting him know about my failed relationship and what was next in life, I proceeded to make my way to the dance floor and found a seat by the bar to watch the several failed attempts at dancing. This is one of my favorite pastimes in Germany, watching Germans dance.

Met some great people though, and did manage to eat half of a chicken burger before rushing out to the coat check line to almost get into a fight with a young lady of color talking about how much she hated Africans. Now, I was in front of them, I assumed the girl was ethnic European (white). I turned around, and to my surprise a mixed Black woman was saying these vile things. While yes, I meet some scrubs who are Africans here, I will never classify all of them as bad, just like I can no longer say that all Germans smell like pork, (just making an point, not meant to insult) or that all Germans have the personalities of potatoes, or that all Germans have grandparents who were Nazis. Stereotypes are bad, no matter who is spewing them. I had to say something to this girl who seemed to be trying to fit in with her ethnic European friends. I said, “I understand English, and you are horrible.” She had a look of shock on her face. I swear, people you cannot judge a book on its cover. I have learned that living in Germany. Not all white people are evil, not all Africans are lazy. Can we not see that we are all humans?

That killed my vibe for whatever happiness I had for the night, and I took the train home to watch some X-Files and fall asleep.

Have a great day, and thanks for reading.

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Bigger than Me

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Hello,

I have been deep in thought lately.. same three things basically: Should I stay in Berlin? Should I return to the States? What the heck is this blog about?

This blog started as a way to basically pass the time in transition to living in Germany. However, I feel it should be more general. No one wants to hear my complain all the time about Germany. I want to make it a positive place where Black women who speak English from around the world can come and get advice, and share experiences on their lives in Germany. I really do not know how to do that thought. I am good at doing my job, which is marketing and sales, but I am really floundering when it comes to finding a theme for this blog. If anyone has ideas.. I am more than welcomed to hear it.
I have trolls who like to constantly remind me of my past all the time, so I would rather not share so much personal information about myself anymore. Just where I go to have fun, eat, hang out, and travel to in Germany. So if you have any suggestions again, please comment. I really appreciate it.

Best Regards,

Kimberly (Black Girl in Berlin)

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Going back to California

Hello

I’m so excited to go back to California. I’m going only for 15 days, but I thought I had a job to rush back to. I was laid off from my job at airbnb.com s largest competitor a few weeks ago. I was happy because I wanted to quit when I was coming back from my vacation. So, things kind of worked out. I’m really unsure what to do next. The job market here is really getting bad for foreigners. I’m working on my German in the meantime, and working out. I have been making healthy smoothies. I do not weigh myself, I just try to see of I can fit into some of my old jeans.

As for coming back to Germany, I just don’t know. It isn’t like I can go home to my parents. My boyfriend has been going out of his way to be sweet to me. Although, he handles stress terribly. I really feel like I’ve been more of a burden, then helpful. He tries to make his case. We went out last week, he brought me flowers, more intimacy, but half of me is saying to myself that this is just too hard. However, I also wonder would I ever find someone better than him. He really is good to me. This is really hard to find in this world.

Well, I’m finished packing today and I am off first to New York, and then to Venice beach for the weekend. I hope you all are having a good holiday. I hope to have plenty of pictures from my trip.

Black girl in Berlin

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First Video Blog

This is my first video for this website. I realize, it’s a lot harder to edit when you want something to be simple, so I just did it quickly in imovie. No fancy things, just me talking and some pictures.. I am sure you are totally excited to see it. Enjoy!